Monday Morning Punch

Rico ran around the park like the Energizer Bunny on heavy duty batteries. He jumped under the water fountain trying to catch the water with his tiny red cup, while simultaneously avoiding bumping into other kids who were doing pretty much the same thing. He waddled to one end of the fountain area where Mommy was sat, then to the other corner where I was. Along the way, he climbed up and down what looked like a sidewalk in the middle the play area (well, it's not exactly a sidewalk because it's in the middle of the play area, but I don't know what else to call it. God only knows why the designers felt they had to put it there).

I tensed up - but did not show it - every time he climbed up and down the sidewalk. Whenever he takes a step up the sidewalk, for about half a second, he looks like he will fall back. He instinctively raises his arms to regain his balance. I imagine him falling backwards and… ugh. But I can’t catch him. And something inside me tells me that I shouldn't. I won’t always be there to catch him, so he might as well learn now while he's in a non-threatening environment. There's this image in my mind of this father scurrying behind his one-year-old, all the while guiding the kid where to go and what to do ("Don't run!" Don't go to the pool." "Slow down." "Didn't I say don't run?"). I don't want to be that kind of father. At the same time, I don't want Rico to get hurt. My heart scrunches every time his knees hit the pavement. Then he smiles at me, and my worries disappear... that is, until he takes the next step up or down.

I struggle to balance letting Rico run around and discover things on his own, and telling him no (don't put that in your mouth, stop pulling the leaves, don't touch the wires, stay out of the kitchen, and please, don't put that in your mouth) without quelling his boundless curiosity. He understands what we say now. Of course, understanding and following are two different things. Sometimes, it's easy: A bottle cap found its way in front of him as he ran around the fountain. He bent to pick it up, and as he did, he looked up at me. I shook my head and he put the bottle cap down. Fantastic, I thought, but that is rare. More often, he insists to have his way, and he will scream, and push to get what he wants. I don’t want him to grow up spoiled and used to always getting what he wants (one of my concerns in the country I live in is that many people have this sense of entitlement, which I have trouble with – but that's another story). However, I also don’t want him to grow up meekly following the boundaries set by other people.

Everyday, Rico surprises us with something new. While he's been able to shake his head when he means no for quite some time now, he just recently learned to nod yes. Everyday, he shows more confidence and drive for what he wants: He pushes us out of bed if he wants milk; he pulls us to the door if he wants to go out; he brings us his shoes then sits down and waits for us to put it on for him. Today, he didn't flinch when he climbed up and down the sidewalk. Today, he ran with the big boys.