Monday Morning Punch

Published in: Baby Young Parents (edited version)
Published on: July 2009

Everything changes when you have a baby. Conversations inevitably turn to your toddler's latest exploits. If you don't remember the last time you had quiet dinner alone with your spouse, then you know what I'm taking about.

1. You sing "The wheels on the bus" even when you're alone driving to work
2. Your best friends are named Ernie, Elmo, and Mr. Snufalupagus
3. In a sing-song voice, you tell your co-workers that you need to go "wee-wee” before you go to a meeting
4. A pillowy purple dinosaur lurks in your nightmares
5. You cut-up all your food (including noodles) in small, bite-size pieces
6. The subject of poo sneaks into every conversation you have.
7. You leave the house with glitters on your skin, stickers on the back of your shirt, and temporary tattoos on your arms.
8. Whenever you eat pasta you think of a dozen wearable art projects you can make with it.
9. You have your own Lego set.
10. You buy bubblegum flavored toothpaste because the minty one burns too much.
11. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that this doesn't apply to you.